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Private (Fuli) We start again







Yurei
Female
Verja Healer
Wolf
© Makao
4 years
Height: 38 in
Posts: 128
AP: 150AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 160

(Fuli) We start again


"Falling in the black, slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths, can I ever go back?"




The morning has passed quietly, with nothing out of normal. And for me, it was like everyday, with me doing my healer's chores in the hut and doing my resective affaires. And as I oraganized the herbs, cleaned the hut and placed the different intems according to where they should be. When all of that was done, i decided to go an check on the library, I wanted to learn about the herbs that could be found on the divine fields. As of now, I had never been there to forage, maybe I could bring some of them here.

So before that, I needed to firstly investigate about them. So I entered the library and in silence I opened the herbal book. I passed the pages until I found the magical herbs section. On the first page, a golden apple came to view. Slowly I touched the image.

Idun's Apple: Gifted to Yavania by the Nordic Goddess Idun, the mythological golden apple. This is the hardest magical plant to find and for good reason, as it's said to grant those that eat it immortality. Deep within Syuna's Courtyard, a single tree of golden apples can be found. Will you be lucky enough to lay eyes upon it?

Inmortality? It sounded cool but, why should I want to live forever in a life where no one will care for me? This excistence has been only Pain and rejection, so why should I extend such thing? So no, I wasn't interested in the apple.

In the next page , a blue leafed plant. Again I touched it wanting to know more about them.

Ahine's Blessing: A blue-leafed plant with icy blue fruit. This luminescent plant grants the creature, whom has it with them, avatar attention. If your character finds this fruit and brings it to Avatar Temple as an offering, they have a 75% chance of summoning an Avatar to speak with them.

Okay, this one was a bit more interesting than the idun's apple. But would I be lucky to even find it? I already knew how bad my luck is and I tend to fail at everything. But maybe, just maybe I could try atleast this time. So I closed the book, and slowly I walked out of the borders toward the syuna's countryard.

-Time skip-

After a long travel, I found myself on my destination. And now I started to look for a plant of blue leaves.

"Speech."

OC: learned about iduns apple and Ahine's blessing

Stock from Kati.H from Dawnthieves





Yurei has a necklace with a golden chain and a black stone as a pendant. It is infused with healing magic.

Due to Yurei's depression issues, her posts would hold many hard topics like depression and suicide(in some cases) so be aware when threading with her.



Reply








Fuli
Female
Rogue
Cougar
© Lightwood
4(6.5) years
Height: 26in
Posts: 202
AP: 24AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 90lbs

RE: (Fuli) We start again

I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING
FOR ONCE I WANT TO BE FOUGHT FOR


The lone female wandered around, ignorant of the fact that the land of her fallen realm laid close. But crossing a path did seem oh so familiar, but Fuli chose to ignore it. Forcing her anxiety and paranoia away, even when every single snap of a twig or rustle of wind brought back those feelings tenfold.

After a while she found herself in a luscious garden. Awe took over her as she look around. It was all so beautiful that she was able to forget her anxiety for just a split moment. The rare ghost of a smile graced her features as she closed her eyes and just simply enjoyed the warmth. Her rigid body slowly relaxing at the aroma of all the sweet flowers and fresh air.

It wasn't before long she caught sight of something from the corner of her eye. Tense and suddenly fighting off a panic attack the woman dropped to the ground and slowly went to investigate, hiding behind a tall tree she activated camouflage. Her body blending in with the bark of the tree. Her body stilled, knowing full well that if she dared move the magic would vanish. Her already narrowed eyes watched the figure. The white wolf with black feathers. But there was something familiar about this canine. The aroma the other carried confirmed her suspicions as she broke out in a grin, the bark pattern fading from her pelt.

"Yurei? Is that really you?" She slowly raised from her hiding spot as she waited for the other to answer.


Metal 0/1 | Psychic 0/3 | Fire 0/2 | Healing 0/2
Chameleon 0/1 | Camouflage 1/1 | Affliction 0/1 | Axon 0/1 | Mask 0/1
Weaver 0/1 | Longevity 0/1 | Dismissal 0/1 | Fellowship 0/1 | Espy 0/1
Eidetic Memory ∞ | Lucky ∞

Actions | "Speech" | Magic








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Staff
Other
Administrator
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-- years
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RE: (Fuli) We start again



FORAGE IS SUCCESSFUL


Forage is LEVEL 2. Ahine's Blessing was found.


Yurei - 10 - no injury








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Yurei
Female
Verja Healer
Wolf
© Makao
4 years
Height: 38 in
Posts: 128
AP: 150AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 160

RE: (Fuli) We start again

(This post was last modified: 09-12-2019, 08:11 PM by Yurei. Edited 1 time in total.)

"Falling in the black, slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths, can I ever go back?"



My search kept going for about ten minutes, and at first, it seemed I wasn't going to find it. There were so many different flowers and plants that finding it could take some time, but well I didn't have the rush to end with this. And well, I wanted some time to be out of the kingdom, to just take a breath. So I kept walking, keeping my red eyes focused on the task of spotting a blue plant, I didn't want to return with empty paws from here, I wanted to feel I was doing something good for once in my life. I never thought myself as someone destined to be good in something, I was a good for nothing, and back to my childhood, everyone says that and if they did so much, it was because they were right, they were right with me. I am not too faithful of what ill archive in this world, maybe ill end up alone and as trash to the world, like the one, no one will miss.

As i walked, finally my eyes met blue upon the green distance, and in silence, I approached and after a quick glare, i took it between my jaws. I wanted to use it later, for maybe trying to summon an avatar. I needed help, with what I have been fighting against my whole life, I needed help with my depression.

With the plant now on my power, i was about to turn and head to the avatar temple. But where would it be? I had never been there before, and I didn't have a clue to where i should go. But there while i mentally considered options, a familiar voice met my ears. "Yurei? Is that really you?" I turned my head slowly, with fear collecting upon my head, taking some control over my moves like it normally did. "Hello?..." I asked, as I spotted a horned cougar, who at first didn't recognize, but her scent told me otherwise. "Miss Fuli?" I asked with the herb still in my mouth. "Where had you been?... I thought something happened to you..." I said lowering my ears.

"Speech."

Stock from Kati.H from Dawnthieves





Yurei has a necklace with a golden chain and a black stone as a pendant. It is infused with healing magic.

Due to Yurei's depression issues, her posts would hold many hard topics like depression and suicide(in some cases) so be aware when threading with her.



Reply








Fuli
Female
Rogue
Cougar
© Lightwood
4(6.5) years
Height: 26in
Posts: 202
AP: 24AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 90lbs

RE: (Fuli) We start again

I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING
FOR ONCE I WANT TO BE FOUGHT FOR


Guilt immediately washed over the older woman as she took a moment before answering. Her hesitation clear as she moved, perhaps, closer to the younger canine. "I'm sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. My mother was finally found and I wanted to spend time with her, but she's left.. again." Her kind, gentle voice faded off turning her mood somber as she wondered where Amari was. It was as if her life would be this endless cycle of losing Amari and then desperately chasing after the aardwolf.

Fuli made a choice right then and there to stop obsessing and to finally just live her own life. No matter how hard it could be sometimes. "But I am back now, a little better than before. More or less." With that she would smile, eyes closing momentarily. She remembered how Yurei had been so scared when they first met. How the cougar's heart ached seeing the young teen all alone. Fuli remembered taking the canine under her wing. Metaphorically.

"Do you still live in our house? Or did you move to a different one?" She was curious to see how the life she left behind was doing. And it wasn't as if she meant to leave forever. More so in a 'going on a small vacation' sense. Fuli briefly wondered if the kingdom would take her back. While she didn't do much there she could confidently say that being there made her feel safer than being out here all alone.

Fuli, in a way, still felt responsible for the younger female. Like how a mother would, despite the fact that she was sure Yurei could take care of herself. Even still... In her pondering fellowship would perhaps tie the two women together. A permanent telepathic link that could share their thoughts with one another. Though, for a moment, Fuli wouldn't be aware of this happening. Instead, she simply waited for Yurei to answer her.


Metal 0/1 | Psychic 0/3 | Fire 0/2 | Healing 0/2
Chameleon 0/1 | Camouflage 1/1 | Affliction 0/1 | Axon 0/1 | Mask 0/1
Weaver 0/1 | Longevity 0/1 | Dismissal 0/1 | Fellowship 1/1 | Espy 0/1
Eidetic Memory ∞ | Lucky ∞

Actions | "Speech" | Magic








Reply








Yurei
Female
Verja Healer
Wolf
© Makao
4 years
Height: 38 in
Posts: 128
AP: 150AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 160

RE: (Fuli) We start again


"Falling in the black, slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths, can I ever go back?"



"I'm sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. My mother was finally found and I wanted to spend time with her, but she's left.. again." My ears kept lowered, my gaze was of concern, of worry for her. She was the first one who did offer me a place to sleep, the first one who offered me what others never did. She was all i have, the only one who did care for me, the only one i trusted enought to sleep with, but she left, she left without a warning, without a goodbye. After that, the little trust i have with myself sank into a sea of emptiness. And of course it was my fault, it was my fault that she left, I was aware of how easily i could bore those who shared with me, I was a burden, a trash no one would ever like. "I see..." I said as I closed my eyes trying to bare the sadness that started to consume my soul, my heart. "I thought...I thought I annoyed you..." My voice was breaking down, as it always did. "I am used to this...to be abandoned by everyone...i am used to be seen as the garbage no one will ever love...I am done of this..." My tears started to come down my face, i felt so heavy, so defeated. I was tired of having the same results, the same results of being left behind.

"But I am back now, a little better than before. More or less." "Will you come back?..." I asked, feeling my eyes soaked in those salty drops, drops that contained years and years of pain, of rejection that until now never left me be, I carried all of those memories upon my shoulders. Upon my soul, a soul long ago lost, destroyed, made pieces.

"Do you still live in our house? Or did you move to a different one?" "I do...I didn't dare to leave it..." I responded, feeling it hard to articulate my words correctly. "I didnt want to leave, with the hope of being with you again...You became the mother i never had...the family i never had... the kindness i never got..." There, i sat down, collapsing, defeated by the sadness that devoured me inside out. "I never knew what having a mother was like...what being loved felt like...what being important for someone...but all the time it feels like this is an already lost battle..."

OC: Sorry for the wait! I didnt know i got a reply here xd
"Speech."

Stock from Kati.H from Dawnthieves







Reply








Fuli
Female
Rogue
Cougar
© Lightwood
4(6.5) years
Height: 26in
Posts: 202
AP: 24AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 90lbs

RE: (Fuli) We start again

I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING
FOR ONCE I WANT TO BE FOUGHT FOR


Fuli was not expecting tears. Or the harsh words the canine said about herself. In a split moment she had the feeling of déjà vu. This is pretty much what happened with her and Amari.. their positions had been switched. Only this time Fuli was the seemingly uncaring mother who leaves broken hearts. It was like a punch to the gut. The woman sucked in a breath, legs attempting to bring her closer to the crying woman. Fuli would try to press herself against the taller woman, anything she could do to offer some sort of comfort.

Fuli knew what it was like to be in Yurei's place. Knew the feelings of abandonment all to well. Perhaps Yurei had woken up one day and couldn't find Fuli anywhere, maybe she had even wondered what she did wrong.

The older woman blinked back a few of her own tears. She hated being the cause of Yurei's pain. Didn't like it one bit. "I could never be annoyed with you, Yurei. Remember that." She'd pull away and take a seat, motioning for the alabaster wolf to sit with her. "I was so hellbent on being reunited with my mother again that I didn't stop to think about the wonderful life I was leaving behind. In a way, I was obsessed with being by my mother's side, constantly trying to make her happy. There's no excuse in the world I can say right now that will justify my actions. You were under my care and I just left... Yurei, you deserve so much better than what I can give. But I promise you right here and now that I will try to fix what I have done. However, on one condition..." A delicate brow would life. A small smile forming, before perhaps (if allowed) placing a gentle kiss to the canine's cheek. She wanted Yurei to know she was cared for.

"Every day before you go to bed I want you to tell yourself that you are not garbage. That you are loved by someone. I don't want you to ever give up on yourself, okay? Can you do that for me? At least try?" This, in a way, was Fuli re-establishing her claim over the young woman. Though never made official, she still felt like the wolf's mother. Or at least like some type of mother figure.

Her heart clenched at Yurei's question. She wanted to come back, but would she be allowed to? Yurei needed her. Fuli saw this now. Whatever it took, she find a way back into the kingdom. Into the place she had her new home. "Yes, I will come back. I promise, but first I have to speak with one of the kingdom leaders. Not right this second, however, because you are my main concern right now. Rejoining can come later."

Her smile grew as the wolf went on, saying how she didn't move. Even claiming Fuli to be the mother she never had. "I'd be glad to be your mother, Yurei. That's the honest to goodness truth." She'd open her mouth to say something else before closing it. A frown taking hold of her face. "Yurei," Her eyes softened some. "I'm sure a lot of horrible things happened to you in your past, but can I say something? You are not your past. Maybe it doesn't seem like it now, but one day you'll wake up and understand my words. Until then, i'll do my best to make sure you know just how important you are. I will drown you in my love." She said the last part in a dramatic tone, if only to help lift the mood.

Fuli wasn't good at cheering people up. She had her own problems to deal with, but even now, she'll always put others before herself. Fuli just wanted everyone to be happy, she knew all too well what a life of despair felt like. She didn't wish that upon anyone.


Metal 0/1 | Psychic 0/3 | Fire 0/2 | Healing 0/2
Chameleon 0/1 | Camouflage 1/1 | Affliction 0/1 | Axon 0/1 | Mask 0/1
Weaver 0/1 | Longevity 0/1 | Dismissal 0/1 | Fellowship 1/1 | Espy 0/1
Eidetic Memory ∞ | Lucky ∞

Actions | "Speech" | Magic








Reply








Yurei
Female
Verja Healer
Wolf
© Makao
4 years
Height: 38 in
Posts: 128
AP: 150AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 160

RE: (Fuli) We start again



I wasnt feeling too well on these moments, i felt a sinming soul within my existence,i felt abandoned, unwanted as always. Did Fuli hated me? Was I a dosgust for her? I used to pull such emothions from those who interacted with me, this wasnt new, this was pretty much something I was used to. Why was i crying? I knew what things like this were, i knew what would happend and then why i am crying? I was an stupid. Pathetic in the way I was behaving around the other woman, around anyone else.

"I could never be annoyed with you, Yurei. Remember that." "Are you sure?..." I asked I was told this several times before, everyone said that and at the end, it became nothing but empty words. I was pretty much sick of it. But Fuli may be different, or at least I felt less scared of her.I wrapped my forelegs around her neck or at least I tried. I wanted to hug her back. This felt weird, I wasnt used to be hugged. "I was so hellbent on being reunited with my mother again that I didn't stop to think about the wonderful life I was leaving behind. In a way, I was obsessed with being by my mother's side, constantly trying to make her happy. There's no excuse in the world I can say right now that will justify my actions. You were under my care and I just left... Yurei, you deserve so much better than what I can give. But I promise you right here and now that I will try to fix what I have done. However, on one condition..."

I paid all the attention I could, taking note of each one of the words she was saying, taking my time to process and find the meaning of all. I didn't want to give a stupid answer.

"I dont deserve more than you do, its fine to be with your mother...I didnt know this , all i could think of was the same result i was used to. The same end, of being a burden for others, I had always been lied to, i had always been said I will be loved, that i won't be abandoned, and until now the result has always been the same...since I was a child...I thought this turned the same...But I may be wrong." I admitted feeling some relief to atleast know their departure wasnt because of her apparently. "I dont want you to feel forced to be with me," I explained, I never liked to push things. "What condition?..." I asked with some fear.

"Every day before you go to bed I want you to tell yourself that you are not garbage. That you are loved by someone. I don't want you to ever give up on yourself, okay? Can you do that for me? At least try?" "I will...for you will..." I said closing my eyes for a few seconds. "Are you okay beig here alone?" I asked after she said she was coming back but not right now. "I can stay with you if you want:" I offered. "I'd be glad to be your mother, Yurei. That's honest to goodness truth." "I would love that...At times I feel lonely and jelly of others...whenever I see a child being loved by their parents I feel my heart itching... I can't help it..." I looked at her, in silence. "I know I have to let the past go, but at times it comes back and even if i try my best I cant fight it."

"speak"

OC:

Stock by Sas.R





Yurei has a necklace with a golden chain and a black stone as a pendant. It is infused with healing magic.

Due to Yurei's depression issues, her posts would hold many hard topics like depression and suicide(in some cases) so be aware when threading with her.



Reply








Fuli
Female
Rogue
Cougar
© Lightwood
4(6.5) years
Height: 26in
Posts: 202
AP: 24AP
Linked Accounts

Weight: 90lbs

RE: (Fuli) We start again

I'M TIRED OF FIGHTING
FOR ONCE I WANT TO BE FOUGHT FOR


"I am totally sure. You are no strain on me whatsoever, okay?"

She listened as the younger woman spoke. Her ears pressing back at Yurei's depressing tone. She felt her motherly instincts kicking in, telling her to take care of the child. But Yurei wasn't a child anymore. And whether she liked it or not, Fuli couldn't treat her like one either. "I'm fine, I need you back home safe and sound. Maybe gather up some pretty flowers and pelts to make the place look nice. I give you full liberty to decorate it however you want. Heck, use some berries to dye the walls!" She smiled, attempting to brush against the canine's shoulder in encouragement. She was trying her best to get Yurei excited.

Fuli tried to plant a loving kiss to the alabaster female's cheek. "Don't be jealous, hun. And, I know that when you're ready you'll let the past stay in the past. I know it's hard sometimes, when it seems like everything is coming against you, but know that it gets better. After being made into a slave I never thought that I would ever amount to anything. I blamed myself for letting my friends get captured as well. But i'm free now, i've made a new life and I have you. Sure, there's been some bumps along the way but no ride is ever perfect. It gets better. All the bad days make you really appreciate the good ones." If only Fuli listened to her own advice. But there wasn't any time to think and dwell on her own problems. She just wanted the girl she took in as her own to be happy. Was that too much to ask for?


Metal 0/1 | Psychic 0/3 | Fire 0/2 | Healing 0/2
Chameleon 0/1 | Camouflage 1/1 | Affliction 0/1 | Axon 0/1 | Mask 0/1
Weaver 0/1 | Longevity 0/1 | Dismissal 0/1 | Fellowship 1/1 | Espy 0/1
Eidetic Memory ∞ | Lucky ∞

Actions | "Speech" | Magic








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